Friday 02 / 03

Photo credit: Waynn Images

13 years ago
"Hey Jenn, I have to tell you something during break time. Is that okay?" I was so nervous because I know I've set my mind to made clear to tell her about me. My hands were all sweaty and cold at the same time. She looked at me the way how every guy would want to confess their special interest towards them. Unfortunately, I am not.

"Sure! Okay!" Jennifer replied while still chewing her gum. She looked back at me and smile again. The school bell rings, we got our lunch and headed straight to our favourite spot and we sat down together. She was breathing heavily like I do. And she couldn't hold it any longer, "So what is it that you want to tell me?"

"Jennifer, you know we've been best buds right? We could share everything together with no boundaries and all." Her shoulder slumped with shyness. "Jenn..." Alright-y, here goes... One, two, three! "I like men." Looking down swirling my doughnut on the tray.

Jennifer's face and both her fists were up high the air shouted "I knew it!" and I was stunned. She got her senses back on track and paused as she asked me again. "You like... What... Wait what?!"

"I said I like men." I guess it dawned upon her now as she puts her right thumb and index fingers on her upper cartilage of her nose. Thinking really hard, taking all the breaths she needs. Digesting a bomb that might cause her constipation-al hazard.

"You? You like MEN? What the fuck, David? I thought you like me?! When? How? You don't even look like you're into men at all." Jennifer squeaked!

"I... Are you okay? Do you mind keeping it down, I do not feel like announcing it to the whole world yet. Wait, do they have a special look for men who likes men?" I don't even know what else to say because I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from her. So I throw in some questions that's stereo-typically incorrect.

She took a long deep breath. Really long. And when she looked at me. Her face changes from disappointment to a sympathetic look of care towards my direction. She asked again, "David, look at me. When did you know?"

I told her everything. We hugged it out, we had a little kiss on the lips (just to kill her curiosity about me kissing). We exchanged our sincere "I love you" to each other and I tear up a little bit because it was a relief to come out.

I got into university will a full scholarship but at the same time I was kicked out of my home when I have decided to come out to my parents. They do not want me to be the cause of bad influence to my younger siblings, Adam & Naomi. I understand so I agreed to move out.

Jenn followed me to my room and helped me as I was packing and crying. I will always remember the part when mom quickly rushed into the room and placed a few thousand dollars into my hands, holding my face, and as she couldn't hold it anymore, she covers her face not long after by rushing out of my room crying.

That was how I remember leaving my home. With Adam and Naomi gave me their last hugs.


8 years ago (5 years later)
"OMG David, (Hey David!!! [Hudson's voice call out from behind]) How have you been already? Have you started working? Do drop us a message and please tell us where you live. We missed your face."

The message beep. It was Jennifer and Hudson. They are just so cute together. They started their relationship not too long after graduation.

Answering machine was done setting up and they are my first message. And I was in the midst of clearing up my newly moved in apartment. A three minutes' walk to the subway station where I head to work. I am attached with one of Forbes 500 Financial Institutions. It seems like a big deal to many, but I thought it was just a job that puts food on my table.

There was a knock on the door. I was so puzzled, I have not told anyone about my new place yet even I am facing issues to remember this address. And when I open the door, there was a man standing there looking stun. I was taken aback.

"Wait, you're not Oliver." He said.

"Oliver? Oh, Oliver Stanfield? He moved out a week ago before I moved in." I was just telling him what he needs to know.

"Oh no. Did he leave a note or anything for anybody?" He asked.

"Nope, it was spick and span when I moved in. Not a single note or a letter around here. Anything urgent?" I realize he couldn't stop browsing my living room.

"Oh no no. Not at all. You clean this place up real good! Damn..." I arch my right eyebrow as he commented. "Hey, my apologies about me being misinformed... I'm just one floor right below you, by the way. That's information you might not need to know. I'm Jay by the way.

Looking at that fine specimen, calling himself Jay. He's cute. "Call me David. Not a problem and it's great to know some neighbours around here too. I shall get back to my cleaning."

"Oh yeah, see you around." He slipped it in casually. I'm not overthinking am I? He's really hot!

"Sure. See you around sometime." Click. And I closed the door shut.


2 months later
Jennifer and Hudson came by to pay me a visit. I baked some good ol' chocolate chip cookies and make them some tea. We were enjoying our catch up session and the door knocked. My confusion shows.

"Are you expecting someone?" Jennifer asked.

"No. I am not." I replied as I head over to my door to open it.

"Hey, David! Hi! Oh no... You've got company. This is such a bad time" Awkwardly, it was Jay who came by after a couple of months.

"Hello Jay, yeah I've got company. They are good friends of mine. Do you need anything? Do you need help?" I have this bad habit of asking too much.

Jennifer and Hudson being over friendly as usual, shouting from behind "Hello David's friend!" I rolled my eyes as Jay was smiling.

Jay smiled and waved at them embarrassingly and tells me, "Maybe some other time."

"Hey no no, I've baked some cookies. Do you want to join us? We can get to know each other. They are nice people. Come on in." Why do I invite him in? Oh dear god, he could be a psycho!!!

Jennifer was already right behind me with hands over my waist and chin on my right shoulder. And then I realised it was because of that, I felt pressurised to invite Jay in instead. "That's my David" whispered Jennifer into my ears. Mouthing "You bitch" to her has always been a habit of mine ever since I came out to her.

"Oh, am I interrupting something here? I mean, I don't wanna be any bother to a great catch up between friends." I can sense that he felt awkward for what Jennifer did yet I feel that he wants to join in. Really, what's really going on?

Jennifer holds Jay's arm and pull him into my place and say "Come on now... Hudson's my boyfriend, and David here is..." My eyes widen and shakes my head mouthing "Not yet". Jay saw it

"David is lonely." Jenn teased.


7 months later (after cookies & tea)
Mobile conversation:

"David, what's taking you so long? We need to be early for their wedding reception!" Jay was hurrying me up for Jennifer and Hudson's big day! 

"I'm coming down right now. Stop chasing me!"

"Trust me, I've been trying really hard, but you've been a pain in the ass by nullifying all my confession towards you, all the fucking damn time."

"Shut the fuck up, Jay! Or in this case, Joseph! You're a terribly horrific liar, you bastard. Since when Jay (J) is short for Joseph? And we're not having this conversation now! I'm here."

He was laughing so loud over the phone. "You look hot!" 

"Shut up already." We kissed.

By the way, Oliver Stanfield wasn't Joseph's ex-lover. Oliver owes him a shit ton of money due to his gambling habit. So, don't you guys dare stirring this shit, readers.


Joseph and I (Our 2nd anniversary)
Their, Jennifer and Hudson's, café that was newly opened 3 months before our 2nd anniversary. They called it "The Sunset Stripes". We were specially invited as part of the special guests section because we were supposed to help them out during their grand opening.

In many ways, this café took them 6 months to perfect their meals and beverages for their menus. It was a long grueling process until we were so afraid of consuming sandwiches, cakes, quiches and pies. Just the smell of it would makes us go, really? And ll they could do is smile and say "Pweeeseee".

We love them. Jay loves me. I love him.

We celebrated our second anniversary at The Sunset Stripes. We had a special anniversary cake from Jenn & Hud with love. Some sort of a fragrant plant called the "Pandan" which they got it from the Asian market down the street and it tasted pretty damn good.

We had a beautiful night together. Open a bottle of champagne and turn on our favourite over replayed movie of all time and snore our lives away even before our movie ends. And he whispered this to me as I was turning to his side of the bed to cuddle, "Our whispered conversations, in overcrowded hallways, the atmosphere is thrilling here as always.
I've spent so many mornings just trying to resist you, I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you. So much to say, not just today but always, we'll have early morning madness, we'll have magic in the making. I love you, David"

"I love you too, Joseph." I whispered back.

End of Part 2.

Friday 01 / 03

Photo Credit: Waynn Images

For me, I've always enjoyed my Fridays. Every time when I get a chance to get off from work, I will rush down to my residence café, downstairs to have my alone time in catching up with all my readings for the week. Weather hasn't always been too humid or too cold in the evening, and that's good excuse for a hot pot of white tea brewing on an electronic warmer device. Well of course I do indulge myself with the occasional java or hot chocolate. I'm not a freak.

I never like sitting by the window whilst doing my own thing. To be honest, I never like to be on display because it's not a freaking zoo and I hate it when I'm reading a book of interest to someone else, they would just stand there and stare. I do not need that kind of attention because I'm not an attention whore like that.

So, I've always choose my favourite corner near the washroom and the kitchen, folding up my legs with knees to my chest, reading my favourite with a hint of bossa nova jazz selection from the café's playlist. It has been years I've been doing so and the owners, Jennifer & Hudson are a very good friends of mine ever since schooling days.

Hudson and Jennifer operate the café endearingly with lots of love. What's not to like? Their affection for each other is what I called a mature tease with tons of dirty shenanigans thrown at each other. With all the sleazy innuendoes draws a smile to most of their customer's face whom has heard their conversation exchange. One might wonder, they might be having a solid healthy sex life behind close doors. We'll never know. But just the way they give each other that yearning glance when they crossed path in every walkway, that says a lot.

Jennifer knew about my sexual preference because I was the one who told her about it during school days. She has always been supportive of my choice and she has never once ridicule or mock me, also never shaming my choices in life. She knew the reason I was kicked out from my home because she was there when I decided to come out. She brought me home that night to her parents.

Moving out wasn't easy but it kind of liberated my choice of doing the things I truly enjoyed. I am longing for a great family reunion during festive season but I guess is way beyond inevitable. In a way, oblivion.

It's a rainy night tonight, and the usual Friday's crowd is lessen by half or even more. Now, there are tons of leftover food from the café. And this is always my favourite part of the season because these leftovers are always given to me for free with their generosity so that I could consume it through the weekend or until the week ahead.

There was this unfamiliar person who walks in and all drenched up from the heavy downpour. Unapologetically, he was wiping down his raincoat and umbrella. You could hear little curses and swearings while he was trying to make himself comfortable. Nevertheless, he struggled with a little bit of a chilled. Jennifer caught me staring at the stranger and winked at me. To my horror, I mouthed "No Bitch". She laughs and gesture Hudson to help the stranger out.

He walks on by to my direction for a warmer corner. I could imagine the chill he is going through but it wasn't my place to do anything. Oddly he looks familiar and he has been smiling at me since he chose to sit on the couch that's facing me. And when he opens his mouth to ask me, "How are you, David?"

I was caught off guard, it's little Adam! My little brother Adam! "Adam?" He nods. "Adam!" I exclaimed excitedly. We stood up and hug it out! Tears streaming down our faces as we hugged. How long has it been? 13 years? I don't remember anymore. Why didn't I keep count? He is so tall now with such a healthy physique. We talked and laughed as we rekindle our memories of each other so much so that we forgot the time.

Hudson came over looking empathetically saying "Guys, it's twelve. The rain has stopped. We're closing. Sorry" I looked at him apologetically and gesture Adam out of the café. So I gave Jenn & Hudson our usual hugs & goodbyes. We both stepped out to continue on our catch up. There's so much to ask and say. That's when Adam asked me something in which I couldn't hold back my tears was, "David, when will you be coming home? They are old."

I was not prepared, reality sets in. I was not ready because it has been years. I couldn't stop myself from tearing up as their faces flashes by right before my eyes. And I just look at Adam with so much pain and sorrow. And all I could utter was, "I... I... don't know. I really don't know." I closed my eyes.

"They missed you so much. And I can see it in their eyes. Naomi purposefully still mention your name during dinner because your dinner spot is still jarringly vacant back home." And so he started to tear up. And he said that Naomi always asked Papa, 'Will you ever accept David back home after all these years?' And Mama would just tear up as she squeezed Naomi's hand to stop her from asking."

I couldn't control myself from shedding tears just by listening to Adam's words. I just couldn't hold back. It's just so much emotion built up over the years and now my siblings are asking for me. The only expression I could give is of gratitude and love with shed of tears streaming down my face without a logical explanation. My love for them.

Adam came to me with a hug. A hug from a brother, who accepts me, who loves me, who came to look for me. "I'm so sorry David. Brother, I didn't mean to see you in pain this way. This is not how I imagine when I came to meet you." As he stands back, holding my arm.

I reassured. "Oh no, please no. No harm done, really." With a giggle of gladness I continued, "All the more, I want thank you instead, for looking out for me. We have so much to..." As I was talking, that's when I heard the sound of footsteps nearing us, towards our direction and when it came to a halt.

"Hey Dave, is everything okay? Why are you tearing up? Is everything alright?" I looked up when he wipes away my tears, only to realise about Joseph. My Joseph.

End of Part 1.