Is that my breakfast?

I was having the most amazing dream of my lifetime and was awaken by a loud snore behind me. He is so adorable when he snores. His snore makes it sound like he's rushing for something in which I can never decipher but it's cute. And you know by the sound of it, he is indeed very tired. 19 hours to Bora Bora from the Big Apple should not be taken so likely. Totally knock us out!

I sat up gazing that turquoise ocean across our bedroom's window opposite where we are sleeping, and the sound of the rushing waves beneath us reminds me of how lucky we are to be here on the island of paradise. And when you know there's nothing ahead of you awaiting especially work, that's what define my version of liberty. That smell of morning dew can sometime be so luxurious, when you are lying next to what I call "my forever".

I enjoy looking at him while he sleeps. He looks so peaceful like a child who doesn't know if there's any danger coming their way. So serene at the same time. This is the face I love to wake up to every morning.

I might have moved a little too much, and he was lazily awake and said,

"Hey you, why are you awake? It's..." he was searching for his watch "5.23am! Its your holiday, why are you so early? Come here... come to me... let me hug you to sleep. You need it."

I smiled and replied while edging over to his side,

"I just wanted to see the sunrise while listening to the water sound beneath us."

"Without me? That's not fair! Just come on over to my side, I want to enjoy myself while smelling you right now. You drive me nuts you know that." He's urging me to move over to his side.

As I was motioning over to his side, I complained a little,

"I hate these king sizes now. Its too comfy and it has way too much space between us."

"But we can do all sorts thing with this kinda space... don't you think?" He replied cynically while winking one eye towards me.

"Not now. Let's go to sleep." He burst into laughter and snuggled his head in between my earlobe and my neck as he wraps his leg around me and breathed in ever so strongly just to make a statement that he's enjoying himself.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I woke up at 8.22am, and he was still sleeping. I smiled with an exhale and shake my head. He is so naked that I have to cover him up with the comforter close to him. You know sometimes when you're just not ready to see his front dangling and you just have to cover it up. He's such a baby. Beautiful in sight, longed to be admired. Nothing I would complain about but he always says he's not good enough, yet.

My only reply to him is, "Your chiseled body is just the additional bonus to the person whom I really loved. If you're ever out of shape, I still loved you just because you're you."

And he always reply while kissing me and say "Nice try, sweet mouth!" He never believes me when I said that, will he ever leaves me instead if I'm ever out of shape. I will never know.

So, I put on my boxers and walk towards the door just to check on the peep hole. I saw them waiting outside. They were waiting for my cue to bring in the breakfast surprise I planned for him before we came over to the island.

They briefed me thoroughly on how to use the breakfast trolley and I tipped them generously. They gave me their best wishes and left the room quietly.

As I was preparing breakfast for both of us, he suddenly said,

"Hey nerd, what's smelling so good?"

I laughed and looked at him and asked,

"Are you ready for breakfast?"

"In bed?" He eyes were big and was getting all excited.

"You betcha." I giggled.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my, are we having croissants too for breakfast on this island? When did you call for room service? I don't remember hearing anything from you just now." 

Wait, was he really sleeping when he was sleeping?

"Well, I arranged it before we went to bed last night. And I know you cannot missed breakfast, so I asked for room service." I explained casually.

"For meeee, oh love, you don't have to. I thought we're having the breakfast buffet?" He was looking puzzled and continued saying,

"... but I think I would prefer this instead. Heck, we are going to be here for 7 days and there's nothing really much we could do, the buffet can wait. Can you sit right by me? Nearer to me, why are you so far away?" He was already munching his first piece of croissant.

And...

*Crack!* 

His face was all twisted.

The moment has arrived.

"What in the worl... What the hell is thi..." As he was pulling out a ring.

So, I quickly ran over to his side and threw his croissant back into the breakfast tray and jump right on top of him. His face was still clueless and blur at the same time. I'm getting ready for my speech but he retorted,

"What are you doing? What are you on top of me right now?"

"Scott Mason, in honor of our 2 years relationship..." I started.

"Oh My God..." He closes his mouth with both his hands.

"...through hardship and love." I continued.

"Can you not... can you not make me cry right now?" He was all emotional.

"Through thick and thin, I love you so very much, will you marry me?" I finally popped the question.

"OH MY GOD, YES! You nerd, a thousand times YES!!! It's definitely you, oh dear God, it's always you. YES!!!" He sobbed and screamed with so much excitement. He carry me up and stood on the floor together.

"So yes? Really? Me? You want to spend the rest of your life with me? No regrets? Really?" I asked again and again.

"You silly silly nerd! Of course I do want to spend the rest of my life with you." Pecking me on my cheek, lips and eyes all over, "... you are the one that changed me for the better and made me who I am today. And it's all because of you! How can I not be with you forever! We owe each other this! We owe it to such a wonderful union as this!" He explains and...

He pulls me so fast and hard as we kissed each other recklessly til we fall back to our bed. We were so hot that the breakfast tray fell on the floor as he signal me with the ring he was still holding.... 

"Wait wait wait... the kissing can wait. Wear it for me please... like right now. I want to see how it looks like and slap your ass with it to make a mark." He was such an asshole.

"Shut up with the ass thing. Let me see whether it fits" I replied.

As I slip the ring into his fingers...

"It does, it does, it does... YES!!!! It does!!!" He screamed again.

I was staring straight right into eyes and said,

"With this, I want to make known to you that I will not bring you the star I promised you 2 years ago. But you are the star I've been searching for. You shine ever so brightly within me, within my heart and within my soul." I stopped as my tears begin to shed, "...and you, because of you, I am shining ever so brightly today with you, after all these years with your love and support." 

Finally holding back my tears I said it,

"I will always cherish and love you forever." My tears just shed right in front of him.

He wipes it away and said,

"Oh stop it you! Stop being so touché with me. You know I do love you." Pouching his lips and mouth. "... you know I will always always love you!" He sobbed and hugged me.

We hugged, we ate breakfast by feeding each other and we explored the next 7 days like animals in Bora Bora with the sound of the howling wind outside our room. 

On the 7th day, as the sun is setting, we knew it is time for us to announce our engagement party back at home.

Was that my dream of a lifetime? Nope. This is even better.

That's It!

"Get out!" I shouted

"No! We're talking this through, damn it Luke, don't shut me out every time when you're upset." His tone equally as loud as me.

"James, I've told you so many times, I never wanted this to be out in the open, OUR RELATIONSHIP, to be known. Why did you tell them?" My voice still loud.

"Them? It was already obvious to them, and there's nothing to hide. Have you seen their eyes? How they've been looking at us? Seriously, they are already playing bets on us, for crying out loud!" He said

"I've told you, I wasn't ready. You just do not listen. You never listen! You think you are always the right one. Stubborn even! I can't even stand the sight of you right now. Well, you know what... I'm leaving right now since you're not!" I was heading straight to the door.

He was standing right in front of the door and exhale,

"No! I won't allow it. I know you. You will never come back. You will ignore me for days. And I hate it. I want to talk and I want you to hear me out. Just stay, please."

I smiled with sarcastic exhale while looking up at him,

"Alright, you want to talk? What it is that you want to talk? Huh? Was it exhilarating? Was it fun for you?" I asked.

That awkwardness creeps right in when he was trying to form words. And so he said,

"Luke, it's not like that."

"Then what is it James? I do not understand. What is it that you find the kick in doing it? This is not the first time. And I'm always the victim."

"Luke, I wanted you to be..."

"Happy? Is that it? I've told you, IN MY TIME. And you never listen!"

"Alright, Luke listen, just hear me out alright. Allow me to apologize to you. I'm sorry, I really am. I have forgotten. I was already out for years and I'm comfortable with my skin. I know what I've done is unforgivable, but I still want to make known to you how liberating it is when you do not have to hide anymore. I mean, come on... just be the person you want to be and not live in such bondage."

I was listening but I can't, my family, so I said, 

"James, you of all people knows me better than others. And the fact that you outed me without asking for my consent is violating my right to choose. And it is still my decision to make. What makes you think you have the right to do so?" I explained.

He looked down. I continued...

"And the fact that you are now upset just because I'm not ready. Or you said is for my own good, or some liberty shit.."

"No... that's not..." He wanted to interrupts but I refused.

"Let me finish. Is this what I think it is? I think I'm dragging this relationship down. And you can't share this frustration with me because, God Forbid, I'm the closest thing you ever love (so you say) and now, this." 

He just looked down and I knew I have thought this out during dinner the whole time and said some more...

"So, this is your version of love?" He shakes his head mouthing NO as I continued, "All I'm seeing is, you are doing this out of frustration. Out of anger. Out of rage." I walked over to him. "Look at me, and tell me the truth. Are you tired of me already?" I was tearing up.

He was facing me and answered,"No, Luke no. I always love you and you know that. We have the best times together and we both wanted more. I admit I am selfish but I wanted what's best for you too." He was tearing up too.

I was so eager to hug him but I am still very disgusted by his actions. I needed time to be away from him.

"I need to be away from you." I finally said it.

"No..." He quickly replied.

"Hear me out, we both needed the space. And I think we need this break." As I'm wiping my tears. "I feel dirty around you right now. I feel like I'm just your thing you used to play with and now, I need to be away from you."

"Luke... what do you want me to do? I've already apologized. I can't undo what just happened. Can't we just work this out? Like we used to... I don't want you ignoring me. It's painful for me. I really do not want to let you go." He pleaded.

"James, the more I hear your voice, the more I'm hurt. The more I see you, I'm guilty of the freedom you once had before you know me. The more I am with you, you feel imprisoned by me. Just... Just let me go. Please... You know it's for the better." My tears just shedding down my collar.

He was sobbing and knelt down to my stomach.

"No... honey, Luke, I'm not going to let you go. Gawd... I'm going to missed you so much. I'm going to missed these arms, these hands, this heart." He was holding me so tight.

Tearing as I am, "Stop." And I pulled myself away from him. He grabbed me harder.

"I don't want it to end like this." He said.

"But how come it is?" I replied with tears. 

He stopped. I stopped.