Photo Credit: Waynn Images
[I was at the park doodling some sketch [Yeah right!] that I was aimless about. And I was supposed to finish reading my last chapter but I wasn't feeling it because I was so reluctant to finish it, and I have to start over with a new book and all...]
There is this guy whom I've been noticing was walking towards my direction. My time stands still.
I don't know where to look. And I think, in my own little world, everyone starts staring and chattering.
He's walking closer to me. The silence from everyone is even more pronounced. Heartbeat chasing.
And so, I looked up. He smiled at me and so did I.
"Hey..." He said to me.
"Hey..." I replied. If he knows how loud it is that my heart is banging inside of me, I'll be so embarrassed right now. If he ever knew, that is.
"If you don't mind, you’re the only familiar face around here. Could you show me where the library is? I'm relatively new around here actually." He asked me with a sincere smile. The sweetest smile that accents his jawline. Maybe naked? CONCENTRATE, don't be a perv!!!
"Oh... yeah... sure! It's right over there, I could walk you there." I volunteered. He nodded with another friendly smile and I caught a glimpse of his left dimple. Kill me already! Why am I such a loser!
As I was packing, he asked me, "I don't been to be any bother, but I've realized that you were occupied with something, maybe it is not the right time for you?" He scratches his head while he was saying that. OMG, he's too cute!!! I can't even.
"Oh no no..., it's no bother at all. This is just my usual weekend activity. My date with the sun. Haha..." YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER!!! Why did you just exposed what a loner you are? With the sun? Just stop talking.
"Splendid! I guess I prefer a more sheltered environment with access to beverages." He stood beside me while waiting for me to pack up. I do too, it's just that I got a chance to see you here in the park with your skin tight shirt... SHUT the FUCK UP!!!
"I'm all set! Off we go to the library... Hey, speaking of library, what type of books do you normally read?" I was really interested in getting to know him now. You're just the DIRECTION guy, DO NOT put your hopes up!!!
He gave me the cutest yet awkward smile while answering. "Well, actually, we both kinda like the same type of books genre or maybe author. I noticed the books you read while I'm in the park. There were many times I wanted to talk to you about it but I may come off as a creep telling you that I'm also reading the same book as you." Hold on here ladies and gentlemen, did he just said he notices me? NOT YOU, the book!!! Don't be such a desperate asshole!
"YOU'RE KIDDING right? After all this time. I was dying inside to share my opinions too. Internet is a good place though." STOP TALKING! I was exasperated that he did not even approach me at all. He laughs off with a relieved. So I guess he might not be my guy after all. Book buddy maybe? Secret crush gay book buddy maybe? Sigh... Shattered.
"Hence... I guess using the Library-Card for direction works on you." He looked down and stole a glance at me with his eyes arching so up while tightening his lips. Awww... he's in desperation to discuss about the book and not me. He's just too cute.
"Wh- What...? So the library it's the excuse? Hold up... Wait wait wait." We stopped walking. He looks worried.
"Are you mad? I'm sorry, are you ok? Upset maybe?" I was so going to hug him but then again we just met. I might be the creep instead.
"No, not at all... (laughing) So, you want to talk about the books that we are reading? I guess we're choosing the wrong location to discuss, my friend. Library doesn't allow us to talk. They will shush you the minute they here our voices." Don't sound too obnoxious, it might come off as arrogant.
"I thought the library would have those small discussion rooms for us to do so?" Cheeky, small private room. I like him more already. Don't even go there. He's not even into you to begin with.
"Hahaha!!! It's always booked up if we are not early during the weekends. Let's head back to my favorite spot and discuss about the book! Which volume are you at right? Hold that thought, maybe you could get your favorite beverage and join me there! Deal?" Mutual book buddy it is. I'd rather be honest with myself before diving into another round of self-inflicted disappointments.
"That's definitely a deal! Give me 10 minutes, I'll see you there! By the way, I'm Randy and I'm book three just like where you're reading now." He looks like he just won himself a jackpot. That dimple, just too cute.
"I'm Josh."
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[2 months later at the park -- same favorite spot]
"Hey!" Randy greeted with a paper bag full of stuff.
"Hey, we're having a feast again?" I smiled and gave him a friendly hug. It's been 2 months and I really do hope for more than a hug. And oh God, he still smells so good after all this time.
And out of nowhere, he puts his lips onto mine and said, "We've got lots to discuss with his third book." I stopped and stared at him.
**THE WORLD JUST STOPS. MY WORLD JUST STAND STILL.**
What the hell just happened? Did that just happen? I stood there still, staring at him with a puzzled look as he was unpacking everything from that paper bag. My mind is thinking way too much and they are not in order. Flashbacks with all the activities we have been doing all this while. My angst just left me? Come back! Hey! I can't do this alone. Come back!
"Randy... Randy, what the hell just happened? What was that kiss about?" I asked. He stopped and turned to look at me.
"It has been 2 months, and you have not make your move. So, I guess it's time for me to make mine." How does he even know? Was I obvious?
"Ermm... Sorry, what?" I'm still lost for words. He laughs.
"I can sense that we really like each other, like, a lot! But I can't wait any longer. That kiss was supposed to be our second book discussion last month and you didn't make the move. I brought mint candy along, but I guess you didn't get the hint..."
He puts his hands around my arms. That smell is killing me and so I just kiss him... He returned that kiss with so much passion by caressing his hands on my face. My hands wrapped around his upper back. He's so fine!!! He started to moan with his tongue. Gawd, it felt so good. Book... discussion... come back to your senses! Come back to your books!
I pulled away. He knew why. We both smile knowingly with understanding. Angst, you came back! Admittedly, I was so hard, and so was he as he was adjusting his crotch are to make it less obvious. We were actually really hot for each other. We knew that kiss wasn't enough but it is just not at the right place and settings. We still have to be civil in the public.
(Now there's really someone staring with a thumbs up sign.)
"Let's get back to our book discussion before people think that we're primates in the zoo started our mating season." He laughs out so loud as he gave me a lover's hug.
"Sure, babe." Babe? No one ever calls me that. I like that. I could really get used to that. That's really endearing.
"Babe? I like that."
We locked eyes and we smiled.
Books.
